wow, it has been awhile since i have posted anything
went to my annual summit meeting. i went a few days early and saw the sights of Nashville. of course, i came home sick. i think my mother left my her sinus issue when she left. smh.
last year when i went to summit i thought that i would be all better when i got back. it had been a year since i had fallen into the hole of my depression and i really thought that a year was long enough to get over just about anything. i was wrong.
i went and saw my therapist last week, she told me that i was looking good. we spoke about my misconceptions of my year "get well" strategy. i told her that i was really nice to not have a lot of drama going on in my life. i decided to take another semester off of school. just because i am starting to feel a little better, i don't want to jump in feet first, over schedule myself just to end up where i was before.
i feel like i have a better support system for the drama. once, you have hit the very bottom and would be willing to do anything to make the pain go away, it starts to make everything relative to that kind of pain.
i finally flipped the other day and went off on my dept manager, she has been sleeping with one of the employees and he has since found another job, except he spends all of this time in the store and she accomplishes nothing. i know it is hypocritical. so i guess she asked me if i could go home early, i cant hear because of my sinus issues and she went and told everyone i was ignoring her. it just rubbed me the wrong way and down hill it went from their. supposedly i take 1.5 to 3 hour lunches, call in too much, and only take care of myself. so i told her that if she felt this way, she should call hr and report it and i would write it all down for her. i tried to call hr and he wasn't answering, i then asked if she wanted to call my boss and no. so she went home and took it upon herself to spend her evening calling everyone to ask them if they would sign a piece of paper on my management style. i am sure she got a few takers. then next day hr called me and told me i needed to write her up for calling me a selfish bitch, when i told her that i hoped her son felt better. she signed it and just laughed. then i am not sure who she called, must have been my boss, and that conversation must not have gone well because she was in a mood for the rest of the day. i have figured out that people seem to work better when they are mad. they seem to get things done.
my ex sent me a text the other day that a girl that used to work for me and has caused me a good amount of grief during my campaign had lost her husband and the first thought in my head was, karma. that is horrible.
i don't know how to not think bad things about people and wish bad things to happen to them. i try to pray for them and not wish they get run over by a car, but most of the time it doesn't work.
i just keep telling myself to not let people live in my head rent free