I have spent the last six years having an internal struggle with god and religion.
I think if I go to church, read my bible, and pray that God will have favor on me. It is obsessive. I feel as though when I sin or don't follow these rules that God will punish me. I have allowed this belief to give me anxiety, make my relationship with God and religion to become complicated and difficult.
My need for perfection also is problematic. If I don't follow the process then I become stressed, feel guilty, and un worthy. So then I stop the entire process feeling like a hypocrite when I start the process. I profusely ask God for forgiveness.