Friday, January 30, 2015

Airline flotation devices

So, I am a nerd. I like to listen to NPR especially fresh air. I love her interviews, the book reviews of books that I buy and can't find time to read.

A writer she was interviewing was describing the instructional presentation that is at the beginning of every flight as if everyone was in church, being quiet (which no one does anymore) and not challenging why we are suppose to put on our mask before helping anyone else.

All I can ever think about during the "in the case of a water landing, remove your seat and wrap your arms in the bands to use as a personal flotation device" is we are more than likely going to crash into the ocean and die.  If, by chance scully is piloting our plane and we successfully "land" on water, that seat isn't going to float with me on it for very long or keep me from getting eaten by sharks. Worse yet, I land in the everglades and get eaten by an alligator.  Hopefully I drown before I am eaten. 

I once thought that the price of tickets should be based on pilots experience (odds are if they crashed you wouldn't have to concern yourself with those pilots), but if scully is flying, you would probably pay a little more for that peace of mind.  If you get a newbie well then you get a discount to buy air insurance from one of those little kiosks at the airport.

Speaking of which, if you buy insurance and you does anyone know you purchased insurance.  They could just cash your check and move along to the next anxiety driven purchaser.

I always wonder if I am the only one who thinks any of this and wants to ask the nice stewardess how long I may expect that cushion to float (they are probably secretly thinking the same thing I am, we are all going to die so really none of this information is useful).  Maybe if you are really crafty you could steal a bunch of them and tie a few to each appendage, that might keep you floating for a few more minutes. I do know one thing, don't fly on airchina, they have a bad habit of losing planes.  Wonder how those seat cushions are floating?

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Sometimes you need to look in the mirror

Be the man you want your daughter to date (or something like that)

I dated this guy in the early 90's.  It was one of those wth was I thinking decisions.  He wasn't very nice to me, broke up with me, and sent my world spinning.  Then after I got divorced he came back around swearing I was the love of his life.  I have a rule of not dating exes because it usually doesn't take long to figure out why they are your ex.  I still swear to this day that we were in two different relationships.

He even sent a text to make sure we had no chance of getting back together before he proposed to his live in girlfriend. 

She has at least one daughter and I am guessing by his face book post that a guy told her she was fat and ugly.  He had a tirade of threats to find this guy and I guess beat him up (real mature I know).

Now I know it takes two to tangle but I think he has been a ass to pretty much everyone he has ever dated.  He once left a girlfriend at his parents house so he could go to a party with me (I didn't know and was furious when I found out).  He has a child with a girl that was drunk and allowed multiple to have sex with her.  He once told me that he would like to have sex with me because I hadn't had a child, sex in 6 years, so I wouldn't be stretched out (he was living with his soon to be wife).

So I found the irony of his tirade of how men should treat women.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

I wish I could be like the cool kids

Everything makes me uncomfortable these days.  I wonder if I have ever truly been comfortable.  I think when I hit a place in my depression where I am not drowning and I am too worn out to want for anything is when I feel comfortable.

I spend my days going from happy, to sad, cold, to hot, can't hear to too loud. I go from wanting to curl up in joe's arms to wanting curl up and never see or hear a soul. Some days I see fine and some days I feel as if there is a film on my glasses and in my world. I just want to pull my skin off and feel something else. 

I pull at my clothes and can't sit still.  I don't know what to do to feel different.
Some days I have the patience of a saint to being irritated by the sound of my own voice. 

I am stuck in my own goldilocks world. Nothing feels "just right".

Effective communication

Yesterday a man asked for directions to a local store.  I was listening as one of my cashiers was giving him directions.  I became confused and I live here. 

I think the way people give directions says something about them. 

People come in my store and ask for the restroom, I hear people going through this long drawn out explanation.  I am thinking I hope that they don't have to go too bad or there is going to be a puddle.  It starts out with "do you see that exit sign on the back wall, look to the right, lower....turn left and go down the hall, it is the first or second door on the right.  Don't turn right because that is the breakdown and at the end of the hall is wellness."

If you ask me where the restroom is "it is in the back right-hand corner, go down the hallway and it is on the right."

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Last night a convenient store was robbed and a customer was shot while trying to stop the burglary.

The customer was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. When I got off work last night, I drove past the store on my way home, there was police tape up around the store.  Police cars blocking it off, a man setting a tripod to either take pictures for the local paper or an online news site.  Everyone is on red alert, the shooter had ran off and hadn't been found yet.  People locking their doors.  I slept with the dogs which probably explains my tiredness and foul mood today.

This morning I drive by the store on my way to work and it is as if nothing had ever happened.  No news on the shooter or the victim, he may be dead. I am in awe of how such a life changing event can take place and nothing really changes except for the handful of people involved.

It makes you realize how small you really are in the scheme of things.

At this exact moment someone is taking their first breath, someone is taking their last.  Someone is falling in love and someone is having their heart broken.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Perception of heaven

"To die would be awfully big adventure"

This profound thought was on a friend's instagram

I see heaven as a bunch of old people sitting around in robes talking about old times.  Kind of like an old person's waiting room, except you can't really see faces on the other side of the room. Which when you think of it that way, it is quite dreary.

I am not sure why I have this vision but I have had it for years.  Which is a sad way to see heaven. 

We were talking about this today and one of the girls was saying that there would have to be a day of judgement.  So I said, you see heaven as a long waiting line.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

One less problem without ya

I made an important decision last week and I will feel better in the end.

My sister sent me her taxes from 2011.  She isn't sure if they were filed or not.  If she was able to claim one of the girls or not. She sends me a text last week stating that it was imperative that her taxes were fine immediately because she was being fined and penalized. 

I have procrastinated because I really don't want to be responsible for a return that probably isn't correct.  So today I sent it back to her with a note stating I didn't feel comfortable with my skill to do her taxes.

She doesn't receive federal or state because she didn't pay her tuition when she was going to school. 

Days that make me dislike people

This was my day

A lady with a complaint that our animals were dying and we were torturing them.  She supposedly came in Friday night but waited until 1030 last night to complain.  So I called crazy lady first thing this morning.  I had dealt with her before where she had a sick animal because she didn't have the correct habitat.

Since the end of December I have been dealing with a lady who had a sick kitten that she adopted.  I gave her three options, call the adoption partner, take it to the vet, or bring it to the store so we could make sure it was taken to the vet.  I left that Sunday wondering if she had brought the cat back.  She then calls me a week and a half later wanting me to look up the adoption partner.  I then asked her if she was the same lady that I had talked to on that Sunday.  Yes.  I asked her why she didn't bring the cat in that day.  She said she wasn't in town. Supposedly she called the adoption partner and it wasn't their cat.  I told her to bring me the cat, she was concerned about how much it was going to cost her. I told her to just relinquish the cat and we would take the cat to get medical attention.  Today I guess I just wanted to be disappointed, so I called her.  The cat died and she is too upset to talk about it?

Monday, January 12, 2015

Finally learning?

I went to therapy today

I felt as though I was all over the place. I usually try to have an agenda before I get to therapy but joe went with me today and we talked the entire way.

I always use the new year to reflect on the past year.  Yesterday was my dad's birthday and the day that he had to decide last year to put mother into the nursing home. We had him over last night and tried to hopefully make his day a little brighter.

I had gone through some of my posts from when Skippy and I were together.  I had forgotten how lonely this house felt. Skippy was a lot like mother when he was angry, he would give you the silent treatment for days. 

I had read some of my posts to joe and he wanted to know what I blogged about now.  So I read a few.  He said his goal is not give me a reason to complain about him.  I thought about it for a moment. I don't blog about my marriage because I am fiercely protective of it.  I learned in my first marriage to pick my battles.  I will take responsibility for allowing other people into my relationship with skippy and not to make that mistake again. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Keys and crazy people

This morning I forgot my keys and didn't realize it until I got to the store.  So I had to drive back across town get my keys and then go back to the store....10 minutes late.

The computers were down.

Today was adoption day. This guy comes in and is holding this dog and crying.  I mean bawling.  I am about to start crying, because I am thinking that the dog reminds him of a dog he had lost. Then come to find out the guy had owned the dog and relinquished it and his sister was saying she was going to shoot it in the head.  The guy wasn't crying because he had to give up his dog, he was crying because his dog was in a crate. He is frigging lucky the dog isn't 6 feet under.  He then said he wanted his dog back....really, so his sister can shoot it in the head?

All of this is going on while the newspaper is interviewing us for an article about converting old trash cans into dog houses.

My husband comes and gets me for lunch.  I get back about 3:15 and think I am just going to leave my stuff in the car, I only have an hour and forty five minutes.  I think I am going to go next door and pick up a few things, but I have to go to the car to get my wallet. Guess what, I don't have any keys to the car.  I had to call my husband to come and unlock my car.

Friday, January 9, 2015

common courtesy

so....i will admit it, i am a democrat and i voted for obama.  yes i know that people like someone to blame their lot in life on, but i am getting to the point that i don't even like the sound of his voice. 

i think that if you are president that you should pledge allegiance to the flag, they need to add that to the job description next time.  i just think there is something wrong about the leader of our country doesn't want to salute a flag that represents America.  does he not like America? 

maybe it is because i am from the south.  the place where you hold the door open for strangers, you pull over, take your hat off and turn off the radio when a funeral procession goes by, and you stand for the American anthem with your hand over your heart and you remember all of the people who gave their life for our freedom. 

go to church, don't go to church....whatever, but don't make one cares

i think that it is disrespectful to send representatives to the funeral of a guy that was shot by a cop and not give the same courtesy to our fallen soldiers. he is the commander and chief correct?  he did give the order for those people to go and give their life, right?

i don't like the fact that i get to pay for him to go on vacation to hawaii....i would like to go to hawaii, i bet lots of other people would too. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

addiction to feeling better

whenever you see a big person in a motorized wheelchair, i always think they need to get their fat butt up and walk, it would be good for them.  

i would always think that and immediately be upset with myself for judging.  I am now obsessed with the show "my 600lb life".  I have watched about 3 episodes and it really didn't change my view.  Then i saw a show last night that made me feel horrible for looking down upon people like that.  There was a guy in his early 30's.  He couldn't hardly sleep because his legs hurt so bad.  He had to live with his parents because he couldn't take care of himself.  He had the gastric bypass surgery and started doing really good.  He was starting to look forward to a future, then he ended up in the hospital because he couldn't breathe.  It turned out that he had an auto immune disease that was starting at his feet, going up to his hands and he could die or be paralyzed for the rest of his life.  he stayed in the hospital forever, almost looking as though he was in a vegetative state.  I am not sure how long this lasted and then he started getting better.  His mom came twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.  The insurance company then decided that he needed to be moved to a nursing home 300 miles away.  The doctor and family fought it and lost.  Then his family decided to renovate their house and they would take care of him.  He had found him a fiance', she moved in to help.  Then one day he came home and she was gone, he fell into a huge depression and started eating like he did when he weighed 600lbs. 

It made me realize that even though those people may look different, they aren't any different than me, than most of us.  We all have ways of trying to cope, things we turn to, things that fill the hole and make us feel better.  His was food.  Mine has been work, food, shopping, spending money, hoarding money, cleaning the house like a mad woman, never cleaning the house, wanting to talk to everyone, not wanting to talk to anyone......we all have an addiction, it just shows up in different forms. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

working retail during the holidays

i have a few days off which is nice after the holiday season

i now find people amusing, even when they are really trying hard to be upset.  i don't think that my give a crap is broken, i just think that i am immune to many emotions, except anger and sadness.  neither one of those are appropriate for angry customers. 

these are things i love
is there anyone working in fish today......nope
do you work here......nope
do you have a bathroom......nope, we just hold it or use THE bucket

i have always loved the people who ask me a question then tell me i am wrong....i just ask if there is anything else that i can help them with.

i have a lady who adopted a cat that is supposedly lying at death's door.  she came in sunday, i told her she had 3 options; call the adoption partner, bring it back to the store, or take it to her vet to have it put down.  All her little girl can ask is if her cat is going to die.  i left the store at 4, it dawned on me on the way home that i never saw the lady. 

she then calls me two days ago asking me to look up her adoption paperwork to find out who the adoption partner is, it is save our strays.  She calls them and they say it isn't their cat.  I then ask her if she was the woman that i had talked to on sunday.  Yes.  i thought this cat was at death's door and that you were going to bring it in sunday.  i couldn't, i wasn't in town.  i am thinking, weren't you in my store having a conversation with me?  i then tell her to bring me the cat.  she is concerned about the money.  i tell her to just relinquish it.  she wants to know what we are going to do with it........ah, take it to the vet!  that was new years eve, still haven't seen her.

i am checking out a couple and i look up to see a woman standing and staring at me, i ask her what i can help her with.  she is fostering a dog and it has wedged itself under her seat. i am thinking that since i work at a pet store that i must be responsible for all situations pertaining to pets.  i tell her i will have someone come out and help her, the guy of the couple i am checking out volunteers.  a deed i am sure he later regretted.  i am watching the circus in the parking lot; the lady is taking all items out of her car (why, i don't know), there are at least 3 people now trying to get this dog out of the car.  finally one of my guys takes his socket set and starts to remove the seat so that the dog will then come out from under the seat.  Yeah. 

i have had several profound thoughts lately, but been too busy to blog


2014 was a unique year, it had lots of ups and downs

i got divorced
my mother died
i got engaged
i racked up a lot of debt
they found a lump in my breast (on my birthday)
i got married
i was able to rid myself of people who had been causing me stress
i dont view myself as broken anymore