Tuesday, August 25, 2015


People with Abandonment issues will usually abandon people in the same fashion

I saw this and it made me wonder if this is why it is so easy for me to cut people out of my life.

I have always been concerned about my lack of ability to form close relationships.

I keep having dreams that joe is leaving me. He left me at the reunion, this morning he left me either on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Consciously I know this isn't an issue and I didn't think that it was even a concern for me but it seems that it must be. I am thinking it must be tied to my fear of doing something wrong, which I did the last time we were together.

Hmmm, maybe I do have some stuff to work out

Friday, August 7, 2015

think outside the box

So I flew home from our yearly summit last night/this morning.

Good news, I am not sick and even better news is that I am not in a tail spin.

I did get to have a great conversation on the plane from Phoenix. As we all know I have struggles with religion. I was able to share this with someone who was opened minded. I have known Woodley since I first started at my job. He is very open minded and just has a good soul. So I was telling him about how I feel as though God tests me and if I don't make the right decision that bad things will happen. He didn't agree and thought that shitty things happen for no reason. When I get tested with an over credit or items that I am not charged for that some people would look at it as God giving them a gift. Such a great perspective but I know in my heart that isn't the right thing.

It all just reminds me that sometimes I just need to get out of my head.