Friday, January 30, 2015

Airline flotation devices

So, I am a nerd. I like to listen to NPR especially especially fresh air. I love her interviews, the book reviews of books that I buy and can't find time to read.

A writer she was interviewing was describing the instructional presentation that is at the beginning of every flight as if everyone was in church, being quiet (which no one does anymore) and not challenging why we are suppose to put on or mask before helping anyone else.

All I can ever think about during the "in the case of a water landing, remove your seat and wrap your arms in the bands to use as a personal flotation device" is we are more than likely going to crash into the ocean and die.  If, by chance scully is piloting our plane and we successfully "land" on water, that seat isn't going to float with me on it for very long or keep me from getting eaten by sharks. Worse yet, I land in the everglades and get eaten by an alligator.  Hopefully I drown before I am eaten. 

I once thought that the price of tickets should be based on pilots experience (odds are if they crashed you wouldn't have to concern yourself with those pilots), but if scully is flying, you would probably pay a little more for that peace of mind.  If you get a newbie well then you get a discount to buy air insurance from one of those little kiosks at the airport.

Speaking of which, if you buy insurance and you does anyone know you purchased insurance.  They could just cash your check and move along to the next anxiety driven purchaser.

I always wonder if I am the only one who thinks any of this and wants to ask the nice stewardess how long I may expect that cushion to float (they are probably secretly thinking the same thing I am, we are all going to die so really none of this information is useful).  Maybe if you are really crafty you could steal a bunch of them and tie a few to each appendage, that might keep you floating for a few more minutes. I do know one thing, don't fly on airchina, they have a bad habit of losing planes.  Wonder how those seat cushions are floating?

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Sometimes you need to look in the mirror

Be the man you want your daughter to date (or something like that)

I dated this guy in the early 90's.  It was one of those wth was I thinking decisions.  He wasn't very nice to me, broke up with me, and sent my world spinning.  Then after I got divorced he came back around swearing I was the love of his life.  I have a rule of not dating exes because it usually doesn't take long to figure out why they are your ex.  I still swear to this day that we were in two different relationships.

He even sent a text to make sure we had no chance of getting back together before he proposed to his live in girlfriend. 

She has at least one daughter and I am guessing by his face book post that a guy told her she was fat and ugly.  He had a tirade of threats to find this guy and I guess beat him up (real mature I know).

Now I know it takes two to tangle but I think he has been a ass to pretty much everyone he has ever dated.  He once left a girlfriend at his parents house so he could go to a party with me (I didn't know and was furious when I found out).  He has a child with a girl that was drunk and allowed multiple to have sex with her.  He once told me that he would like to have sex with me because I hadn't had a child, sex in 6 years, so I wouldn't be stretched out (he was living with his soon to be wife).

So I found the irony of his tirade of how men should treat women.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

I wish I could be like the cool kids

Everything makes me uncomfortable these days.  I wonder if I have ever truly been comfortable.  I think when I hit a place in my depression where I am not drowning and I am too worn out to want for anything is when I feel comfortable.

I spend my days going from happy, to sad, cold, to hot, can't hear to too loud. I go from wanting to curl up in joe's arms to wanting curl up and never see or hear a soul. Some days I see fine and some days I feel as if there is a film on my glasses and in my world. I just want to pull my skin off and feel something else. 

I pull at my clothes and can't sit still.  I don't know what to do to feel different.
Some days I have the patience of a saint to being irritated by the sound of my own voice. 

I am stuck in my own goldilocks world. Nothing feels "just right".

Effective communication

Yesterday a man asked for directions to a local store.  I was listening as one of my cashiers was giving him directions.  I became confused and I live here. 

I think the way people give directions says something about them. 

People come in my store and ask for the restroom, I hear people going through this long drawn out explanation.  I am thinking I hope that they don't have to go too bad or there is going to be a puddle.  It starts out with "do you see that exit sign on the back wall, look to the right, lower....turn left and go down the hall, it is the first or second door on the right.  Don't turn right because that is the breakdown and at the end of the hall is wellness."

If you ask me where the restroom is "it is in the back right-hand corner, go down the hallway and it is on the right."

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Last night a convenient store was robbed and a customer was shot while trying to stop the burglary.

The customer was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. When I got off work last night, I drove past the store on my way home, there was police tape up around the store.  Police cars blocking it off, a man setting a tripod to either take pictures for the local paper or an online news site.  Everyone is on red alert, the shooter had ran off and hadn't been found yet.  People locking their doors.  I slept with the dogs which probably explains my tiredness and foul mood today.

This morning I drive by the store on my way to work and it is as if nothing had ever happened.  No news on the shooter or the victim, he may be dead. I am in awe of how such a life changing event can take place and nothing really changes except for the handful of people involved.

It makes you realize how small you really are in the scheme of things.

At this exact moment someone is taking their first breath, someone is taking their last.  Someone is falling in love and someone is having their heart broken.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Perception of heaven

"To die would be awfully big adventure"

This profound thought was on a friend's instagram

I see heaven as a bunch of old people sitting around in robes talking about old times.  Kind of like an old person's waiting room, except you can't really see faces on the other side of the room. Which when you think of it that way, it is quite dreary.

I am not sure why I have this vision but I have had it for years.  Which is a sad way to see heaven. 

We were talking about this today and one of the girls was saying that there would have to be a day of judgement.  So I said, you see heaven as a long waiting line.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

One less problem without ya

I made an important decision last week and I will feel better in the end.

My sister sent me her taxes from 2011.  She isn't sure if they were filed or not.  If she was able to claim one of the girls or not. She sends me a text last week stating that it was imperative that her taxes were fine immediately because she was being fined and penalized. 

I have procrastinated because I really don't want to be responsible for a return that probably isn't correct.  So today I sent it back to her with a note stating I didn't feel comfortable with my skill to do her taxes.

She doesn't receive federal or state because she didn't pay her tuition when she was going to school.