Sunday, June 28, 2015


So i have been MIA for awhile. It will take several posts to get it all out of my head.

I have never felt nor considered myself old until this month.

We took the girls to cozumel on a cruise. Which i don't know that i would ever do again but if was great for the girls. Our last night there we went to the dining room to have dinner. I had bought a simple white dress while in cozumel. I have never felt more like my mother than the moment i put on that dress. I saw an older, tired version of my mother. This was irritating.

The worst part is i now act like her. I never feel well. I am always tired. I give more to work than i do my family and some days i am nicer to the dog. Everyone in this house caters to me and around my disposition. I absolutely hated the way my mother made me feel.

I haven't been to my therapist in weeks. Vacation, bathroom remodel, bedroom remodel.  I am sincerely thinking of revamping my diet and getting off these meds to see if this will help

I have been taking prebiotics. My stomach is so bloated i look as though i am 5 months pregnant. I am back at my heaviest.

Something has to give.