Wednesday, October 24, 2012


i have been sick more this year than i have been in the last decade...guess that is what i get for giving my people grief over calling in all of the time

my dentist gave me a new mouthpiece to keep  me from grinding my teeth (he hasn't a clue how determined i am).  I used to have what looked like a football mouth guard and i have almost chewed through it, at least i stopped taking it out in the middle of the night and finding it stuck to my forehead in the morning.  The new piece fits my two front teeth and is suppose to keep me from being able to close my jaws, now i just grind my front teeth. 

anyway, last night, my sinuses went between being clogged up to draining.  Every time i tried to blow my nose, nothing, but then i would wake up feeling like a white trash child with dried snot stuck to my nose.  I have been trying to keep the drainage from draining into my chest (i am always at high risk of getting bronchitis) so i would get up in the middle of the night, coughing and hacking, trying to spit this crud into the toilet without having to fish out my new $300 chipmunk teeth. 

on top of all of this, i went to the bathroom today and a thread from either my pants or my underwear got tangled up in the string of my tampon so i thought that it would be wiser to just pull the strings apart so that i could then change my tampon.  WRONG!!!  The string came out of my tampon with the other string and landed in the toilet.  I am at lunch with my husband.  I actually googled "how to remove tampon without string attached". 

Sunday, October 21, 2012


i took a week off work

i took husband to the doctor, then he took me to the dentist to get a new tooth (no, it didn't hurt as bad as i thought it would).  I only took the lortab for the first day then realized that it was like being on crack when i was still up running about the house like a mad woman at 11:30pm. 

i organized, made spreadsheets, invoices and custom receipts for new position as treasurer for the optimist one loves a spreadsheet as much as i do (type a personality and all)

i took naps during the day, slept late, and went to bed early (except my lortab driven night), it was nice

i was very afraid that most of my sleeping was due to my depression hitting an all time low.  I went and saw my regular doctor who i feel is the only person who really gets my head issues and he grumbled at my self medicating ways (which usually means that i have stopped taking something that he has prescribed) and has put me on an additional anti depressant and it seems to be helping me get over this hump and is taking away some of my hopelessness. 

i am very thankful that i have a husband who has been very patient and understanding lately

Monday, October 15, 2012


This semester has been tough.  I spent the first month sick and now my bipolarness is stuck in severe depression mode.  I want to sleep continuously and the few hours that i am awake i am counting the minutes until i can crawl back into bed with my cat.

On the bright side, i am easily able to dismiss other peoples passive aggressive, snide comments.  Where as in the past i would've analyzed every word for hidden meaning.  I am not sure if this means my give a crap is broken or if i have finally learned to deal.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


perception is reality, i have said this for years....what i perceive as unethical isn't so easily perceived that way by someone else.  I used to hate the word i totally get it.  It is almost as if lying by omission.  Trust, i give it easily, but once it is broken then i start to doubt all interactions, past and future.