women just want to heard, men want to fix problems
telling a woman that is expressing her feelings that she is having a fit is not a characteristic of displaying listening skills
what significant others fail to realize though is that if important needs aren't being met for a long enough period, the person will either fall into a depression (i live in this world already) or find another outlet for this need.
I have always thought in order to have a good friend, you must be a good friend. I have really sucked at that lately. My bff had an epiphany, that her life was on an endless loop tape. We had spent decades living like we were in our twenties, drinking and smoking without a care in the world (at least until the next day). I met my husband and knew that i had someone else in my life to think of and had a responsibility to them to stick around. I also saw someone whose body was failing them and he had no choice in the matter. I had a healthy body and was determined to destroy it the best that i could. It also helped that i watched my mother and what decades of smoking had taken from her. My bff and I didn't spend as much time together, because my life was filled with school, church, work, and the gym. Smoking and drinking didn't rule my weekends or weekdays for that matter.
A few months ago, she said that she had gone to a friends house for a thing with her bottle of wine in tow and thought to herself that this night was going to be like every other night for the past two decades and she wanted off the merry go round. Her husband is a drinker, she knew that she would not be able to stop drinking with that kind of influence, so she told him she wanted a separation. I haven't kept in great touch to help her through this, mainly because the depression has taken over my life and i have struggled to keep up with school. I sent her a text last night asking what she was up to and she was going to an AA meeting. I am so proud of her for "picking herself up by the bootstraps" as she would say.
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