reactionary

and i received another blow today, one of my key people are leaving and i have not a clue how to replace her

i am feeling defeated.  i am trying very hard not to get into the "if work is going good, then my personal life is crap" state of mind.  then i think that it is karma for my problem child leaving. 

i am just trying to give it to god

interestingly enough i had a guy call me about a job interview, he had seen my resume' on my college website.  i have to go see him on monday.  i doubt they can pay me what i need, but it would be interesting and less stressful to do something else than what i have done the last two decades of my life. 

i talked to my sister today, i guess she has been committed since the day she showed up in Tulsa and i went and got her.  she doesn't really remember that day.  she sounded good.  they have diagnosed her again with schitzophernia and i can say that she does get very paranoid.  she is part of a program where someone comes by either daily or a few times a week and makes sure she is taking her meds.  she is also taking a three month shot, which should help her not to forget her meds.  i don't know what to think and i am really not going to put much thought into it because i am emotionally exhausted from my own personal roller coaster. 

i am trying very hard to have a positive attitude about this entire week but it is hard.  i had a boss once who told me that my first reaction to change was always to be negative and then after i sat with it awhile, i would calm down and start to see the bright side of things. 

lord, i hope so.  i could really use the favor.