My anxiety is getting worse.
Joe and I went to Wal-Mart and I felt as if I was going to get mugged in the parking lot. An angry black woman was dragging her screaming kid through the parking lot while cussing walmart. There were 2 people getting out the car that was parked in front of us and I thought they looked sketchy.
We had a contractor come to the house and give us a quote on a screened in back porch. He was the guy that did Rodney's bathroom. I looked at that poor guy and told him that he was married to my mom and that was her house. I still get choked up thinking about it.
I missed my psychiatrist appointment last month. I called today fearing that I wouldn't be allowed to come back. The lady put me on hold forever then she was able to get me in next week. I am kind of concerned, I am NEVER able to get in that quickly.
I feel as though my ADD is at an all time high.
I really feel like a failure. Everything is out of control, my weight, my finances, my emotions, and I drink to stop all of the thoughts that won't stop!
I am about a month into a new job and I cannot seem to get a grip on anything!
I feel as if someone is setting on my chest, I want to just break down and cry. I feel like a disposable human being. I hate the way my emotions makes Joe feel. I can see it in his eyes, he wonders if he is going to come home to a dead wife.
You did the right thing by calling your doctor and getting an appointment. Anxiety steals your sense of peace and it is a terrible disorder to try to live with and manage. Changing jobs is stressful all by itself even if you don't have an anxiety disorder. Try to picture yourself 6 months down the road when everything has become second nature. You'll get the new job but don't be so hard on yourself because you haven't learned everything in 4 weeks..........your expectation isn't reasonable! Love you kiddo!
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