We are even

Today is my step dad's birthday. I wished him a happy birthday. He replied with something about his job, thanked me for me asking (which I really didn't) and thanked me for the sentiment.

4 years ago we were putting my mother in a nursing home. Rodney had already started seeing someone and she was at the hospital.

I want to apologize so much to my mother. I picked him over her. I now know that when the going got rough, he got going.

It still really breaks my heart. Some days I feel fine and some days it just kicks my ass. This last week it has just been kicking my ass.

This is when I truly want to just pack up and move somewhere else and make new memories. I would miss what little family I have.

Funny thing is, I have seen him twice since the whole cutting situation. It was a spring tornado that destroyed my step mom's shop. I managed to find my way to her through the downed power lines. When I got there, she was just standing in the what was left of her shop. She turned around and I just hugged her and said I was sorry. We spoke for a few minutes. I turned to walk to my car. Rodney turned, saw me, and didn't say a word. I didn't either so I guess we are even.

Before I left petco, he and his wife came into the store. Joe had taken me to work so I don't know if they came because they didn't think I was there or if they came to see if I was there. I hid for a few minutes and then decided that it was silly. I had signs to hang so I went to work. They never said anything to me and I never said anything to them. Once again, i guess we are even.

Last week, Joe gets a message from Dana that they have done a segment on her new building and it will be on the 10 o clock news.

It all came flooding back.