inconvenience

so it has been a very, very long time. I have gotten away from blogging but I think that I need this online therapy,

I went and saw my therapist today, about a month ago my ex step dad's new wife contacted my husband about some plaques that mother had. She told my husband that she didn't want to upset me but wanted me to know that she had stored away the plaques. I then sent her a message and asked her if it were okay if I could come and get them. She said that would be great. I asked her what day and she told me which day of the week she is the least busy. Time went by, I got busy, but joe remembered the plaques and sent her a message wanting to know if it was a good time to come by. She replied that he needed to contact my ex step dad and that she was staying out of the situation. I sent her a message telling her that I really appreciated everything that she had done for me and I am sorry that I had caused any issues. My therapist asked me why I was sorry, she was the one that initiated contact. Once again this is my reaction to anyone when I feel as though I have been an inconvenience to them. Since I have spent most of my life feeling like an inconvenience.

Someone posted today what would I tell my younger self. I would tell myself to not allow people to discount me, that they don't determine my worth. I really wish I could teach my older self this.

I allow my mother's husband make me feel like I am an inconvenience and a disposable person. I declined to contact him about the plaques because I know that I will just get upset and who knows if I will actually even receive the plaques. I just decided to not participate in this immature game.