if a tree falls...

..... and no one hears it, did it really fall?

I annoy myself and people like me annoy me. 

Have you ever met a one upper? You know that person that always has a story to top yours?

I am an the idiot that will believe whatever you say until I figure out it is a lie. I will then rerun everything you've ever told me and assume it as false too.

The holidays were hard. 3 dads who have decided not to participate in my life. I work retail, most guests don't care as long as you have what they want. Introducing the last part of the trifecta. My mental illness. 

I used to go to doctors but no one could ever figure out what to do with me, like my mother when she had her brain radiated. Am I bipolar type 2, PTSD, general anxiety disorder, severe depression? It used to be very important to me to have a proper diagnosis. Really? Does it matter, I still feel close to losing hope. 

If you drop out of social media and no one notices. Do you think life works that way? 

My neighbor has been at her niece's for over a year in PT. 

Today the vultures are showing up to take away the remnants of her life. I see them smiling because they got a good deal. 

I want to scream at them. She was a kind woman who gave me her and her late husband's watch for a wedding gift because she didn't have a daughter. 

She always asked how I was doing in school. She was my cheerleader.

I left the dogs outside to bark at these people and to annoy them the way their comings and goings annoy me.