It's 3am, i must be lonely....
I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't breath because i was crying. My blood pressure was up because i had a drink and i didnt take my meds last night because I had a drink. I was too hot, too cold and everything irritated me.
Tomorrow, i am calling my therapist after my many conference calls. I need to stop trying to take off on mondays. I guess Thursday and Friday will be my days.
I know that it is easy for me to be a backseat driver when it comes to my parents. As i told butch, i have never once thought that he woke up in the morning and deliberately tried to mess up his child. I just don't think he thought at all.
I don't know how men walk away from their children. Ed walked away from me. Butch was too hurt by his own issues.
I was given all of the legal paperwork for the family. My maternal grandfather married his mistress and left everything to her children. My mom, aunt, and uncle received nothing.
Joe's dad walked away from him. Only finding joe in the last decade. I have met him once, they live 5 or 6 hours from us. Everytime we make plans to go see them, back to michigan they go.
Joe's mom died of cancer. His step dad basically raised his sister. Joe really considered him a dad. They work at the same place, if it weren't for that, i am not sure that he would even see him. Friday night was his grandson's last game, he wasn't there. He didn't even come to our wedding.
I am so outdone by these men and their ability to walk away but meet a woman and are able to put that woman and her children above their own.
I haven't been to butch's house in years but i am sure their is no sign of my sister, the girls, or me. It just kills me especially since his reasoning for selling my home was to be closer to sister and her children.
That worked out well.
I don't think you know how much Butch has done for Gina. More than I thought was good for either of them. Butch and Claudia are in such debt from giving Gina money and that is probably where I would have drawn the line. He's paid her fines to keep her from going to jail (and I would not have done that) He paid David's fines to keep him out of jail (I wouldn't have done that either). Several years back when Gina was still married to Erik, we were all gathered at Butch's house for Christmas when Gina got mad because Butch said no to something she wanted. Gina refused to come to Christmas and I told Butch it was because he said No to her and that was the first time she'd ever heard no. Then she refused to let Butch see the kids and that went on for 7 years. Until Gina needed him for something and then she decided to speak to him. Gina completely took advantage of Claudia when they first moved here. She expected Claudia to take care of her kids anytime she wanted her to. Gina would go to there house and camp out (sleep) while Claudia took care of her kids. This was an every day thing. I couldn't believe it at the time but Butch wouldn't say no to Gina. I didn't blame Claudia for getting tired of being used by Gina. Claudia used to cook every meal for them, sew clothes for the girls, you name it she did it but not once did Gina lift a finger to help with anything.Gina controlled them by using the girls as bait. "If you don't do what I want then I won't let you see the kids". That's the honest truth about what happened.
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