Monday, January 11, 2016

Missing my mother

Next month will be 2 years since we buried my mother. This month is the 2 year anniversary since i was divorced too.

I tired of being in debt, i feel like a teenager with my first credit card. I cashed out an annuity and paid off some bills. I know horrible idea.

I have been trying to get a budget together which is difficult because i am never sure what joe's check will be. I sat down the other day and went through 10 months of bills, credit card statements, and bank statements to figure out how we dug this hole.

Last pay period was the first that we used our cash system. We quickly found out that we didn't budget enough for food so we stole from our eating out budget and personal budget. It all worked out. The best thing was getting to friday and not trying to figure out how to pay for something.

Since i have spent so much time on pinterest, looking for ways to save money, and new recipes. I have decided to start sewing. My hands hurt too much so i am looking for a sewing machine. This makes me think of my mother, i wished we hadn't have been in such a hurry to erase her. I wish that i would've kept more. I am grateful that deedee kept some of her jewelry. She told me that one day i would want them and she is right. I kept her wedding ring and wear it on days that i am afraid that i will damage mine since she has a simple gold band. I was waiting to get my hair highlighted today and i almost started crying because I missed her so much.

I thought about making a trip to the cemetery to put daisies on her grave. Since i haven't been out there since the day she was buried. I wish that she would've been cremated so that i could at least have a piece of her instead of thinking that she is in a box rotting in the ground.

Deedee is getting ready for her first triathlon. She said we had traded places. I now cook, sew, and being suzy home maker. She spends her time at the gym.

Rodney's girlfriend is now divorced so i am sure they will run off soon to get married. Hmm, dejavue all over again.

1 comment:

  1. You will always miss your mother T.J. I was thinking about my mother this morning wishing I could call her to ask her the name of my grandmother's best friend. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I had asked more questions or recorded her voice or taken more pictures.

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