Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Week with sister

The week with my sister was interesting.

I think it disturbed joe more than it did me. My sister is the master manipulator. I know this and most of the time i am aware of when i am being manipulated. I have spent the last 3 years working on boundaries. I think that i was able to do a good job having my boundaries and enforcing them. I also think that she is losing her touch. I think losing her youth and not being a size 2 is taking it's toll on her.

I also think her liver is giving up on her which is why she looks so bloated. She tries to blame it on her meds but i take the same meds and i didnt gain 60lbs.

On her last night she spoke of her weight. I told her that i weighed a 170 lbs and she said that i didn't look like it, that is because i know how to dress it and i refuse to define myself and my self esteem by a pants size or a number on a scale.

She said that she couldn't dress 200lbs. I told her that is because i have had to fight weight my whole life and it had always been so easy for her. Everything had always been so easy for her. She admitted that when she stopped living in her own world and joined reality that it was really hard on her.

In my world, i always had to live in reality. I knew we were broke all of the time. I knew people pitied me and looked down upon me. I still have times that i don't feel good enough but i also know that how people treat me is more about them than me.

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