Last night i received a message from dana that her and Rodney were getting married today.
I thought it was inappropriate that the news came from dana and not rodney. So i told him that. He told me "Well that's just silly. We are here having fun and we decided that it is time we made our relationship right with each other and with God. Moving forward with whatever life we have left. You have been part of my life since you were 12. I do not intend otherwise. You alone control the option to cancel such relationship."
Me "I wasn't wishing to cancel the relationship. I want the exact opposite. I am telling you that being a part of your life is important to me. I would like to hear you are getting married from you."
"Our intent was to tell everyone at the same time. No one knew the exact date, place and time. You did know, because Dana told you a while back, that we would probably run off and get married. No date was set no invitations sent and this is how we wanted it to be. Even Cousin Fred doesn't know. No one at my office knows. Everyone will learn of it at the same time."
"I would like to think that i am just not anyone....Everyone isn't finding out at the same time. I suspect that the breedloves know. This is the person who you thought was responsible for killing one of your best friends. She knew before i did, this is my point. You don't see or feel things the same way i do. I would like for you to not discount my feelings anymore. I don't know what i did to make you shut me out of your life. I thought i was going to have to make you put your arm around me at the store the other day when before you would've done that freely."
It then dawned on me, he just didn't want me there. I spent most of my day in the negative self talk of "i just thought i was special".
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