Monday, January 6, 2014

happy new year

I finally took the plunge and left my husband. 
 
I am not even sure where to start.  Christmas was miserable as usual.  My husband was absolutely no help what so ever.  He had taken vacation that week and had asked me if there was anything that he was able to do.  I asked him if he would clean the floors.  Christmas Eve we went to church, came home and he had laundry to do....really you have been off all week.  I worked on the floors Christmas Eve and then had to get up early Christmas day to finish them before going off to the store to feed animals.  I come home and start lunch.  My husband comes in and informs me that I should have asked him before I asked my father to join us for lunch.  I just told him that it was too late, he was on his way, and I was thankful to have his help.  He then came into the kitchen and wanted to know if he could help why I took a shower.  I asked him to finish peeling two potatoes and cut them to put them in the water.  I told him that after that if he would put the silverware out, because he always complains when I do it.  He looks at me and asks me how long of a shower I plan to take...really peel 2 potatoes and put out silverware that is already on the counter.  I have even gotten out the pan, filled it with water, so all you have to do is put it on the stove and turn it on.  His parents get there and when lunch is ready, I walk into the living room to give the guys their plates.  My husband gives me a look as if this is the most inappropriate thing that he has ever seen, tells me to take the plates back into the kitchen. 

This is Wednesday, on Saturday I come home and tell him I am done.  He now wants to go to counseling and I tell him there is no way I am going to counseling with him again.  He said that once before and I found a counselor and had to beg him to go.  I am DONE!  He then tells me that he is going to make this divorce hell.  Then switches to "let's sit down and talk about this"....whatever.  I pack some stuff to leave.  My husband comes out to the garage, I roll down the window and he opens the door.  He wants to talk, he wants me to stay (should've thought of that years ago), he then gets upset and tries to take my keys.  I have played this game more times that I like to remember.  I take the keys out of the ignition and tell him that I am leaving.  He says that I can leave if we will talk about this tomorrow.  Whatever. 

I come home on Sunday and he wants to talk.  I want to sleep.  Dejavu......he tells me if we don't talk he is going to leave.  I tell him that is a great idea.  He then goes into how sorry he feels for me for not wanting to save this marriage.  I really feel as if I have been..........for the last four years. 

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