Step parenting

Someone had posted on Facebook the other day about being a step parent.

I commented that it is a really fine line and I think that my responsibility is to advise and support.

Last night the "birth giver" as her daughter likes to list her in her contacts sent some passive aggressive message to my husband about how it would have been nice to see her daughter on Easter. 

I believe people are put in your life for a purpose.  She is to remind me of the things I don't like about myself (i.e. snarky comments, back stabbing to make yourself feel better than others, and actually thinking you are better than others).

The snarky comment irritated me, daughter asked me what happened. I said something about her mother and her comments.  I sat there for a moment then grabbed the phone and replied that she needed to be an adult, use her words, and if she wanted something to ask for it and not to be sarcastic. Daughter vacated the living room and headed to her bedroom......quickly.

I immediately knew I had done the wrong thing.

I struggled with how to apologize and when, if I didn't do it now then I would just stress over it.  My husband had gone into her bedroom so I stuck my head in and apologized.  I shouldn't have said anything, it wasn't my place and I shouldn't have had a response while she was in the room. 

I so remember what it was like to feel put in the middle of your parent's war.  I never want her to feel like that.  I don't want her to feel as though she has to choose.  I have always said this wasn't a competition, we could all love her. 

With all of the things that were in my head yesterday last night wasn't my finest moment. 

I knew I was wrong and apologized which was way more than my parents ever did for me.