today my husband and I took a day trip, saw a couple of museums, ate dinner, and ran a few errands.
he always wonders what it would have been like if we had stayed together in high school. he hates that I had to have an abusive husband. I know that I have brought some of the baggage with me but beyond that the whole time in my life seems so surreal.
my dad and his girlfriend went to her 30 year reunion. last night she posted on face book that they had a good time but were going to bed. I was going to make a comment that it was only 11:30, I would have been up much later. Then I remembered I married the person that would have kept me out late.
one time there was some face book survey of who your best friend was and of course I put my bff from high school. Skippy was so upset because I didn't put him, it never dawned on me to consider him my best friend (probably should have been a sign). I had never witnessed a relationship, other than my ex in laws, that the two people genuinely liked each other. I had always seen those cheesy quotes at weddings "today I married my best friend". I think the first time I saw that, the girl was cheating on her husband almost since day one and they got divorced.
I have become the couple that I hate. I really did marry my best friend. Yesterday he had a Dr apt and I really didn't want to go (being an agoraphobic) but I wanted to continue our conversation. I wanted to be with him. I never knew you could feel this way about another human being, to actually like someone all of the time. the good lord knows I am moody.
Skippy always told me that dreams are the brains way of dealing with issues. I am not sure why issues I have to deal with dreaming of relationships of the past. I remember being very fearful before I married skippy of being able to be faithful. I didn't have even that thought when I married joe. I continue to have dreams of boyfriends past and cheating on my husband. i am not sure what my brain is trying to fix, but it needs to hurry it up because the past needs to just stay in the past. i don't need the heart ache, thank you very much.
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