Grief and true love

I love dysfunctional TV shows.

I was watching RHOC and one of the ladies lost her mother. Her whole world fell apart. Her grief is so foreign to me.

I don't think there is anyone in my life that I would grieve that much for. I realize that it is partly because I never had children. I might not have a clue what real love is, maybe none of my family knew what love was.

I thought that butch really loved my mother because when she left, he fell apart but now I think it was more a blow to his self esteem because a woman had never left him, ever.

I never saw my mother cry over anything. I am sure she did when her mother died but we weren't there.  Rodney and I weren't allowed to come, which thinking about it now seems very odd. Butch and mother reconciled briefly when her brother passed away, they flew out together.

Maybe that is why I love my animals so much. I know what love is because I see it in their eyes. I don't have to fear that they will leave me, cheat on me, or treat me badly because it isn't in their nature. In fact they would rip someone's limbs off if they tried to hurt me.

I will cry when they leave me.