Friday, May 27, 2016

The representation of baggage

I had another one of those days

I woke up this morning thinking i had things to get accomplished and all i wanted to do was sleep.

I had an eye exam 2 weeks ago this Tuesday. I wanted to keep my old frames because i get completed on them all of the time. They had to send in the frames to have the correct lenses installed. Joe calls yesterday and they have "been broken" twice? I can no longer function without glasses so i go to the 1 hour place next to the store and get 2 pairs (sunglasses and eyeglasses) for under $200. My last frames were $300. I can see now.

I started my day with a breakdown. I talk to my mother and god. I know that my mother was saved but became very angry at the end of her life. I was sure at one time she had gone to somewhere other than heaven because she looked so frightened when she died. My conundrum this morning, if i talk to my mother, am i talking to someone who is ungodly and how would i know. I am in a group on Facebook that is a informative bible study. I proposed my confusion to the group and wasn't really satisfied with the answer.

One of my employee's dad came in looking for her. He seemed concerned because he was unable to find her. We went to the office and i called her on my cell. I left the office so they could talk. He brought my phone back and asked if Rodney was my dad. Yes. He is a good man. I changed the topic to my mother. He told me i looked exactly like her. There was a time that would have bothered me but i have embraced the comparison.  It may be the only thing i have left of her.

I am now nine again and dealing with a parent who is unable to get passed the person and all of the baggage that i represent.

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