Sunday, September 15, 2013

being appreciative

No news is good news, I heard nothing of the chicken little episode on Friday.  It has really amazed me how much less exhausted I was come the end of the week.  I really cannot believe that I have spent almost a year dealing with those two and their toxicity and how much it really drained me.  No one can suck the life out of you without your permission. 

I have spent the last year in a depression that has left me unable to do more than what is necessary to function.  Spending most of my time in bed and feeling as though I was walking through quicksand. It is tough when you have such debilitating depression.  It isn't like my sister who is wearing a boot on her foot and has a visible sign of damage.  People don't understand because you look fine, you have no visible scars or broken bones.  You feel real pain, pain that is felt to the bottom of your soul. 

The good news I have stopped medicating myself with food.  I just need to make the time to exercise and I know that I will get more energy.  I still have good days and bad, but it is nice to be able to say that I actually had a good day.  It has been a very long time since I was able to say that. 

Ironically, it sometimes takes someone else who is at the bottom (I know exactly what that feels like) to point out to you what you do have in order to make you feel appreciative. 

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