Saturday, September 28, 2013

life as of lately

Tuesday morning I wake up with a sore throat.  Wednesday I wake up with a sore throat and a cough, the kind of cough that means you are getting sick....Really????  It is my birthday week and I think that my curse has expanded from a day to a week.  I go to the doctor, he swabs my throat and nose.  I don't have the flu or strep, but I have a virus.  I get a z pack, some of that awesome cough medicine that makes me sleep like the dead, and a pain reliever.  I go to the pharmacy and off to the house to dream land. 

I haven't seen my shrink in a month.  I was suppose to go on Tuesday, but I had a call in and had to work the rest of the day.  This sends me into a tail spin of no one cares about me.  I try to do everything I can to make other people's lives easier and they could give two shakes about mine.  I am the boss, no one is suppose to care about me. 

I have decided that my sister and I have the most twisted sense of humor.  She tells me about her pathetic attempt at suicide with the bic razor and I say "why didn't you just take a handful of pills".  Please do not get me wrong, I don't want my sister to die or to leave me alone in this world, partly because she is the one who gets how messed up I am and how much it sucks.  Of course when I tell her this, we laugh wildly, she tells butch.....he doesn't see the humor in it (which makes us laugh even more).  I am sure he feels responsible for our dilemma's.  Poor man, I would not want to feel responsible for the three of his children.  My brothers shrink told him (sorry, I will probably get this wrong) that he is "incapable of dealing with real world situations".  Crap, I thought I had problems.  I think that when your therapist tells you that, you have zero options left in this world.  Sister wanted a t shirt made for him.  I would use it as my get out of jail free card....the minute I didn't want to deal I would just flip out my card (signed by my therapist of course) kindly explain that I wasn't equipped to deal with the situation and leave. 

I send my professor an email that I am unable to attend class because I am sick, I have a doctors note and would like to make up my test Monday during his office hours.  By the time that Thursday gets here I am delirious from all of the medication, simple tasks are super difficult and I am giddy.  Maybe, I was stoned.  I had a headache and took the medication that was given to me for my throat, by lunch time, my head was killing me.  I took my Excedrin migraine, headache gone.  I am in no shape to drive across town not to mention thirty minutes away.  My professor sends me an email that no, I may not make up this exam it will just be weighted into the last two tests of the year.  Ass, I drop the class.  Really, I know students pull this crap all of the time, but I am 40 years old with a 3.82 GPA, have missed only one class in my college career and I cant even get a make up with a doctors note.  My husband is pissed and is thinking of going to administration.  Oh well, hope karma bites dr. whomever in the butt. 

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