queen of excuses

I am exhausted and today is only my monday. 

I slept most of the day Sunday, par for the course.  I tried to sleep my day away yesterday, but matt came home at lunch and wanted to look at storm shelters (eye roll).  I had a hot fudge sunday for lunch, came back home and climbed into bed.  I almost fell asleep, but the doctors office called to confirm my doctors appointment for today that i tried to call and cancel yesterday.  They couldnt find me because they had my dob as 1927....boy i just thought i was old.  I will have to call and reschedule tomorrow.  This is my six month check up for the pap smear that i had that came back abnormal. 

I still need to find a shrink and get my meds all straightened out, because this is not working.  I dont want to cry all of the time anymore, i just feel no reason to leave my house, unless i absolutely HAVE to. 

Mr. B thought that i needed some exercise on Sunday.  I always take Paisely to the donut shop with me on Sunday morning, but this time Matt was able to get Buckley in the car as well.  It went fine until we arrived at home.  I thought that i should pull into the garage before we let Mr. B out.  Matt thought we should let them out in the drive (i wasn't really wanting to press my luck).  Buckley decided to take a 4 block tour of the neighborhood.  I almost had him at the end of the street, but Matt told me to stop, because he thought that he could just kneel down and Buckley would come to him....fat chance.  I went home and got the car, thinking that fat pookie would just get in....nope, she used B's bad behavior as an excuse to roam around the neighborhood as well.  I slowly followed Matt, B, and Paisely all the way home. 

I just paid my tuition for this semester, thankful once again that i was able to pay cash for it and didn't have to take out a loan.  I feel defeated that i am paying full price for three hours that i dropped.  I don't know if that was a good idea or not, but i don't feel like depending on four other people that i don't know for my grade.  This was an online class that she expected us (group of five) to write a 20 or 40 page research paper with nine references, five of them being from the Internet.  I don't even remember what the subject was, but this was only suppose to be an eight week class.  I think this lady is CRAZY!!!  I dropped it, but since it was an eight week class, i didn't receive an financial credit for it, so i just gave NSU about $600 for nothing.  Oh well, live and learn. 

I just don't know if i have what it takes to finish this, but it would be such a waste to get to my junior year and not finish.  I am just so scared that i may not have what it takes to finally see something through to the end.  What happens if i do get my degree, actually pass the CPA just to get a job that pays me less than i make now and i end up hating it???

The queen of excuses is what i have become.  The enabler of failure.  I am just too tired to care.