Monday, February 4, 2013

the blow out

"yesterday i decided that at my age I'm playing on the back nine of life.  My head keeps telling me I can go back to the clubhouse and change clubs and balls then start the game over.  Ah then reality sets in and I decide what's really happened is I have what I need to play through, really too much.  I should take a 7 iron, a putter, and some balls and finish this game.  DOWNSIZING is a good thing sometimes.  You.  Well your on the second to last hole of the front nine yourself.  Take what you need, drop the rest and play through.  I think, as people, we should never compare or contrast each other.  We each must come to understand our self worth and gain back our trust in life"....this is a text i received from my dad (who, ironically is not a golfer).

I know that some people think that it is interesting to say that their family is crazy, but no one ever seems to believe me.  Matt and I went and had dinner with his parents the other night and ran into a couple who knew my adoptive father.  The man came back to the table to inquire about Butch's health, which as far as i know is fine.  My poor in-laws were so confused.  Matt and I had to explain who Butch was and that no one on the Stagg's side of the family had ever met him.  Butch's wife doesn't care for my sister and I too much.  My aunt said it well when it comes to his bride "as if we didn't have crazy enough, he had to import some into the family".  People usually think that i am making that up to, until i explain that she had to be committed because she thought he was trying to kill her.  Butch replied "i don't think that she actually thought that i was trying to kill her" and sister said "does it matter?"

This will now lead to the blow out that my sister, father, and i had while our brother nervously sat in the corner wanting nothing to do with his crazy sisters.  Butch had spent his life dragging women in and out of my life, i desperately clung on to them, needing a mother figure in my life.  He finally met Pam about the time i was getting married to Dick.  I really believe that Butch didn't want to be alone so he married her.  My sister and I have spent much time trying to decide which came first the chicken or the egg....was Pam crazy before she met Butch or does Butch just make all of the women in his life crazy.  I can say this, i really do believe that he tried to make her happy.  I felt as though he was angry at me for getting married, leaving him, and so he did little things to show that his new wife was more important than me.  I remember once i was trying to speak to him about some wedding stuff (since he was paying for it) and she pulled up, honked the horn, he jumped up and ran out of the house like it was on fire.  Needless to say, my feelings were hurt.  He had spent my entire lifetime telling me that the land our trailer sat on would be mine, my brother and sister had no emotional ties to it, but when Pam left him broke, he had to sell it.  I was really hurt for a long time about that.  My sister and I always get more upset about the injustices done to the other than we do about the wrongs that we have experienced.  So, she called him and we had a show down on her front porch.  The man is so oblivious as to other people in his life and how his actions effect us.  I told him that i felt like he had sold my childhood home because he had been chasing after another piece of ass.  I remember him asking my sister if she could love his wife, to which she replied "NO" and he wanted to know why, sister said "because, because, she is fucking crazy" that is when the conversation about his wife being institutionalized came up.  I walked into the house and when i finally came out, Butch had his finger in sister's face, screaming "F you.....F you".  I have no clue how a father can say that to a daughter.  I did tell him that i couldn't believe the night that sister called him because her then husband was on his way home and she was afraid for her safety from a fight previously that day.  Butch's wife called and he had to run home.  I seriously cannot believe a father would leave his daughter at a home where he knows that her husband is coming home and there is a good chance it could get physical. 

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