oops

my assistant's sister is pregnant and they found out that the fetus isn't viable, she must be about 4-6 months pregnant and they were going to do a c section today.  I can't even imagine what that must feel like. 

I never know what to say in situations like that "sorry for your loss" sounds so hallmarkish.  I will pray for you, which I do, but saying it sounds so corny.  I found out that one of my neighbors lost her husband and as I was driving around the dogs one Sunday I saw that she was having a garage sale.  I almost stopped but then I was struck with "what do I say?". 

God made the Israelites wander around the wilderness for 40 years to teach them to trust and learn to lean on him.  I know that you have to go through the bad to enjoy the good.  The more that I am tested the more I learn to stop trying to control everything because I cant. 

In this last year I have learned so much.  I am human, I make mistakes.  I have learned to let go of things and people that only leave me feeling bad.  I actually told myself that I was smart and beautiful.  I am not sure that I have ever done that and actually believed myself when I said it.  My motto was always fake it until you make it.  If you acted confident then people would perceive you that way.  As tempted as I am at the time, gossip only brings the negative into your life, and I don't want people to gossip about me.  I have learned to pray for my enemies, no matter how bad they talk about me.  I have learned that their opinions aren't worth beating myself up for.  Employees will come and they will go, if they leave, they will say bad things about me, but I am not there to be their bff or their therapist.  I am there to run a business and sometimes we just don't have the same vision about how that should happen.  Conflict doesn't always have to be ridden with strife.  As I was told last week, managers should NEVER scream.  oops.