life is full of choices

yesterday I spent time thinking about my sister and it hit me, she is never going to stop drinking.  I had made a comment about my eye glasses and that my prescription had changed.  She said that her prescription was wrong because she was drunk when she went and got her eyes examined.  I told her that I couldn't believe that they didn't send her home.  She said that they didn't know that she was drunk.  I told her that she wasn't fooling anyone.  I could smell it on her when I picked her up the day before.  She laughed about going to the eye doctor drunk, she wasn't acting embarrassed or shocked at her behavior.  I remember that is how my ex husband used to talk about his drug days, reminiscent.  Little did I realize that he was still on drugs. 

I called Butch last night and told him about what had happened. 

I then called her today and told her that I had spoken to him about the incident.  I told her that I didn't want to lose her, but if she continued to drink that she would die.  I pulled no punches today and was hoping that I could be the voice of reason.  Little did I know that I was another voice to add to the same song and dance that everyone else has participated in. 

One person I talked to yesterday told me that I needed to move her in with me.....uh, no.  I am just now digging myself out of a depression that I have had for the last 15 months.  I don't have good boundaries with people and especially not the master manipulator.  I am sure that is really killing her, that she isn't able to use her charm and good looks to get people to do what she wants them to do.  Most of her friends are gone because they are tired of dealing with the drama. 

It isn't my problem to solve and I am not going to compromise my mental health for someone who obviously doesn't want to get better. 

There was one ironic part to the conversation, she met a really nice guy......he works at the liquor store.