flying in and out of Dallas for a meeting during the middle of the week, really made the rest of my week exhausting. I am glad that I have the crew that I do because we were able to get a lot done in the little amount of time that I had left this week.
one frustrating thing happened my dept. manager called in because her son was pushed down the bleachers and he was bleeding. I could tell that she was upset but was stuck on the register and didn't want to seem rude to my customers. She later sent me a text that said something about how I used to be more sympathetic when she was upset. I really wanted to go off and tell her that no one seemed to give a flip about my problems or bother to ask how I am doing. I watched as they took my husband off the ER in an ambulance and I didn't receive a phone call or a text asking how him or I was doing. I just don't have it to give for people that don't have it to give to me.
I did have a conversation with my therapist today about being sexually abused as a child. I have issues with sex, which is probably why I have chosen to stay with my husband (that and I am sure that I would pick someone worse to be with). She asked me if my issues were because I was abused as a child and I said I am sure that it was a combination of things, the abuse, butch's wonderful views on women, and my husband raping me. The thing I do know is that the last two relationships I have had, sex has been an issue. My issue is that I view sex as dirty. I have to change my view of sex and intimacy.
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