from worse to better :)

yep, should have gone to therapy yesterday

I spent my whole day studying for a test that had 37 questions.  I took 12 chapters, made over 150 flashcards for 37 questions.  Oh well, hopefully I did well enough to get me a B. 

I got up this morning and felt really down.  My bff is in London, so I cant call her.  I don't want to talk to the people I work with about my issues.  I called my sister who was drunk and more worried about taking a shower so she could have sex.  I didn't even bother to ask her with who, probably someone she met at the liquor store.  I called the only person who I knew would listen and understand. 

I know what I am doing, I am trying to repair my childhood.  I am back to feeling like I was nine and waiting for someone to put me first and that is never going to happen.  I just end up feeling like I should have never been born, it is just too much hurt.  Too much to get over. 

I got to work this morning and I had a truck waiting for me to unload (oh how I miss having a forklift).  I busted my behind and then decided that the guys could take care of it.  The funny part of the day was I somehow got into a conversation with a guy that had to be in his 70's or 80's about the fall and that I was okay because I had enough padding on my behind and he told me I had a nice behind.  It really cracked me that the old guy still had some spunk. 

My midshift guy "texted in" telling me he couldn't get out of his driveway. The creepy part is that he signs all of his texts with "{(silence)}".....what does that even mean.  One of my assistants asked him and he said that she wouldn't understand.  Okay California boy, it is weird and if you cant explain it then stop doing it.  This is when I think no wonder your girlfriends dad doesn't like you, you do weird things.  Yes, I know it isn't my place to judge.