good moms.....

i have always been scared to have children, mostly because i have always been so self sufficient, independent, and i usually pick the worst guys to date. 

i worried that i would pass along my broken relationship that i had with my mother.  I totally don't get that, she was close to her mother, they spoke every week.  It wasn't as though she didn't know how to have a close relationship, she just didn't know how to have one with me. 



my mother has always had floors that you could perform surgery on at any given time, the kitchen to go along with it, neatly folded laundry, a self cleaning oven.............i on the other hand always felt like an inconvenience that needed to stay out of the way.  I wished i would have had the words to tell her to put up the vacuum and spend time with me.