secrets women keep

i am reading a book "the secrets women keep", i left self help books to my twenties, but this one was enough to satisfy the nosey side of my mind

it makes me wonder about my secrets, there was a woman who spoke of marrying a man that was emotionally unavailable for her "...she most likely chose him because his level of comfort with closeness matched hers.  She thinks she wants a closer relationship, but if she got it, could she handle it? Probably not."  Ugh, i thought the first part of solving a problem was admitting you had one.

Since my exhusband forced me to have sex, i have this issue with physical intimacy, which is probably why i chose my husband.  After almost 5 years of no sex and the prospect of living the entire rest of my marriage like this gives me a huge sense of hopelessness.

I think that i want the intimacy of marriage, but would i be able to handle it?????