a good day

if you haven't guessed, I had a melt down yesterday. 

it all started on Wednesday with a groomer and the passing of her grandfather, she stayed and finished grooming her dogs, called all of her appointments and cancelled them.  she then called her boss to let her know that she was going out of town.  amazingly enough, no one could come in and cover her shift Wednesday.  the same two groomers whom I recall ran out the door the minute their grandfather died and then took a week off.  I left the store feeling disappointed and sad.  I thought about my team and if that had happened to anyone of us, we would move heaven and earth to ensure that the schedule was covered.  needless to say, my groomers didn't like it when I told them this.  I feel like I am back in high school when dealing with these people, they are clickish and gossipy.  I have been fighting it since the day I got there.  I have stayed late and helped bathe dogs, I have spent my own money to make sure they had the supplies that they needed. I flipped out and left the store with my manager right behind me, I dropped about a dozen f bombs and left.  I came home, crying and hugged my husband.  I did go back to work and actually still had two groomers.  I hate the fact that they cry about not making any money but only want to work three days a week.  I am tired of people creating their own issues and then acting as if it is someone else's fault.  It must have been truth serum day, because then I told chicken little that I scheduled her days off opposite of mine because I didn't like working with her and she gave me the blues. 

I have gotten lost somewhere along the way.  Wednesday night we talked about our testimonies and I realized that I didn't really have one.  I was doing good, I had it all together, and I was happy.  Somewhere along the way I let someone take that away from me.  I thought back to the time that I was happy and I have started doing some of the things that I used to do when I was happy.  Today was a good day.  It has been a really long time since I have been able to say that. 

The summit is next week and I am actually looking forward to it.  It will be the year marker of when my happiness went away and I really want to feel good again.  This last year has really been tough, there have many times that I wished I would disappear so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain any more.  The pain, at times, was so unbearable.  I would not wish this last year on my worst enemy.