the dysfunctional family

"Worry is a thief, Fear is a liar, and Anxiety is their trembling, furrow-browed baby.  I have lived with this dysfunctional family for the better part of my life.  Sometimes I live with them still.  Worry robs me of the peace I know is available.  Fear lies and says there is no peace at all.  And the immature, screaming baby Anxiety keeps me up at night with her unrelenting cries of what if? and what now? and what will they think?"
Emily P. Freeman

Perfection.

Thankfully my psychiatrist upped my meds and now I am back to sleeping at night.  It is amazing how much better my world looks when I sleep at night.  I became very discouraged that my new anti depressant wasn't working but the doctor told me that there is an extra ingredient in it that wont kick in until I get to the right dosage.  The dosage that I had been on was just giving me the serotonin and I have been on that for years.  I was beginning to wonder if this sadness was going to be my new normal. 

I have been working on my boundaries.  Unfortunately, beyond my husband, the only person that I have day to day relationships with are my employees.  I told chicken little the other day that I expected no more drama from her and instructed my staff that the next time she says that she is too stressed out for this job to give her a piece of paper and a pen and get her letter of resignation.  For Pete's sake, we run a pet store, she hasn't a clue what stress is.  I dare her to find a boss who has put up with the amount of crap that I have.  No one can suck the life out of you without your permission.  Well, I no longer give any of them permission. 

It has been really nice to have the last few days off with no school work.  I am afraid that this time will go by too quickly.  I did manage to get a 4.0 in my summer classes which takes my GPA to a 3.82.  I am extremely proud of that. 

It really does amaze me at times that amount of things that I manage to get done with all of the issues that I have.  Which really makes me want to choke out some of my people and their self made drama.  These people don't have a clue what real problems are.  I have an aunt who takes care of her husband who is recovering from cancer (fingers crossed) and she takes care of her brother who is schizophrenic with not a lot of help.  How she has managed to not have a nervous breakdown I will never know (she probably doesn't have the time).