coping skills

the other day, one of my employees was having a panic attack

she asked me what i did when i had one....i thought for a moment and decided that i either shopped or ate, not so great coping skills. 

besides, all of my anxieties are perceived....ie, waiting for the other shoe to drop

I am so tired of feeling messed up and working so hard to look as though i have it all together, proving to myself that i have it all together. 

I try to do better and talk my way through the issues with someone, but usually i find it convenient to have my panic attacks at 2am, when everything seems scarier than it actually is. 

I have an appointment to see a shrink in July, there is a book of paperwork to fill out and i got stumped at the page where he wanted me to fill out about my family and their issues.  I thought about just putting the address to my blog and telling him to read it, it would make this process much earlier. It is like the time a customer asked what was wrong with my people, i asked him how much time he had and if he wanted that list alphabetical or by seriousness of issue (he just thought we were all too nice).