I finally got all of my stuff together for 2012 taxes....$14k in money spent on campaign stuff, doctor visits, prescriptions, and unreimbursed business travel, because i was so sick when i got back from Florida that i didn't have it to give to file my reimbursement before the deadline. It is almost as if the year from hell is finally over. I just have to wait for Missy to finish our taxes, sign them, and i can officially be done with 2012.
This weekend went better. I had to work the basketball game on Friday, went on Saturday to pay the workers and the person that was suppose to work the ticket gate with the change didn't show up until the last minute. This is the problem with an organization that has too many chiefs and not enough Indians (which is usually the case). It would probably be better if our president wasn't oblivious to the world around him. It is almost as if he became president because he was the last man standing. It was a cluster when i left Saturday, the ex president telling me that i would have to stay and work. I told him that Friday night when i left everything was handled and i am going home. Matt then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault technically because i am the treasurer and the money is my responsibility. He then proceeded to bag on me about something else to which i asked if he was finished kicking my ass.
As usual i did sleep all day yesterday, but managed to get up and clean up my disgusting house. It is amazing how much better you feel when your house is clean. I didn't have the option of sleeping today because i had to take Matt to the doctor in Tulsa. His mother wanted to buy plaques for the winning contestants of the oratorical contest and the ex president wanted to do a ribbon or something. She wanted to know if we had the money for plaques and then explained to me that it had already been shot down. I then replied that in all fairness, it was the decision of the board and not the ex president to decide what we should or shouldn't do and if it were that important to her then she should come to the board meeting on Monday. I hung up the phone and told Matt that his baby was making friends and influencing people. I told him that the ex president was probably already not too happy with me since he told me that i had to work Saturday night and i told him i was going home. Matt proceeded to tell me that he didn't believe what i was saying was true, that he had known this man for 15 years and had known me for 5, that i had just taken it wrong because i was tired. Needless to say, the rest of our day didn't go too well.
I haven't read much more of the book the five languages of love, but i have decided that i need to be affirmed. This is why i have always been so driven, i spent most of my childhood feeling like an inconvenience and basically a screw up, when i found something that i did right, i became addicted like a drug.
My sisters birthday was this weekend. She has been sending me texts to call her, but i am still fighting my own demons. She thought it was about money that we spent on my nieces birthday gift. Bless her heart, she forgets to eat and i haven't missed a meal.....aren't we a pair. She wants me to come and spend the weekend and i know she is right, we really do need each other right now....but that would mean having to leave my bed and my cat and well.....i have become VERY attached to both on the weekends. I don't even fake like i am going to church on Sundays.
I have stopped taking my ADD medication, partly because i ran out and my doctor closed their office early on my scheduled day to see him and partly to see if my attention issue is more because of my chemical imbalance and not due to ADD. My doctor is going to be pissed come Wednesday, but he shouldn't be surprised by my self medicating ways. I still haven't found a shrink.
I did find someone who kind of understood what is was like growing up with someone who was in law enforcement. I think my adoptive father took it to a whole new level. Matt and I were talking about the Luby shooting in Texas that happened in the 80's and i remember that sending Butch over the edge. I can remember him telling me that people "he put away" were getting out and they would come after him. One of the guys thought that was probable....i doubt anyone was going to travel all the way from California to our one horse town and not immediately think they were in hell. Oh my, he would tell me that they would shoot my dog and then take me....no wonder i am filled with anxiety all of the time and cant watch the news.
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