debris

It is funny how the names may have changed but the story always stays the same.  I think the biggest shame in life is when people have opportunities and waste them.  I am pretty sure that i have worked for everything i have ever gotten in my life, except for my looks and well concealer really helps.

I know that god has a plan and that my plan is different than other peoples.  It really is difficult to be happy for someone who  seems to glide right through life, wasting their good fortune along the way.  Leaving behind the debris for others to clean up. 

I have had a job since i was 16.  I have had a car payment most of my life.  I don't think there were any other students i went to high school with that had a car payment....but then again most of them drove crap. 

I know that i have had various degrees of depression my entire life.  I have finally come to grip with the fact that i will be on some kind of medication for the rest of my life and that doesn't make me a loser. 

My drive to prove something to really no one other than myself exhausts me.  I don't know how to not work hard.  I have always envied people who could live with mediocrity....it must take less energy.  I have given up perfection or at least have lowered my standards. 

Unfortunately, i have lessened the standards for people around me....not that i probably expected too much to begin with.  I always let my people explain themselves, trying to see the big picture and not jump to conclusions.  I learned that lesson from my last company and it stinks when it happens to you.  The flip side of that is when i have given you every chance in the book and you still take advantage of me, then i will write you off with the quickness.  I have succeeded at not becoming angry or bitter (for the most part).

"I want to forgive and forget....i have forgiven you, now i want to forget you" Lauren Conrad