Narcissists are addicts. They are no different to drug addicts. They are in pursuit of gratification through the drug known as "narcissistic supply". Everything and EVERYONE around them is an object, a potential source (to be idealized) or not (and, then to be cruelly discarded).
In turn you could say that i was an addict as well, addicted to the high of the narcissist relationship and trying to fix the low. Which would explain the sudden transition between the two. Once the focus stopped consistently being all about the other person, i would be the one to blame. The guilt motivating me to give more and more trying to make up for my conceived wrongdoings.
It makes you wish that relationships were more black and white, people said what they meant and meant what they said. Wouldn't it be refreshing to meet someone and have them say "I like you, but not enough to commit. I will tell you that i love you, but will be gone the instant that something better comes along." Knowing my dumb ass, i would've tried to change them and make them stay and love me. Proving that i must be special.
All I know is that you will never require someone to value you until you value yourself. The other great life lesson I had to learn was realizing I was just fine alone....once I knew that then I was ready to meet the right person who would value me as well.
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