Wednesday, February 8, 2012

forgiveness

forgiveness (thank you aunt dani)

when you know better, you do better.....oprah

I saw first hand what not forgiving can do to a person.  My adoptive father spent almost two decades being mad at my mother for leaving him when he was emotional unavailable and unable to be in a monogamous relationship (ironic, i know).  My mother went on and married an amazing man whom i call my father.  She was happy (as happy as my mother ever was). 

I know that it is so easy to say that forgiveness has more to do with the forgiver than the forgivee, but this is the reality.  If you don't forgive and let go of the anger than the forgivee wins, they change who you are.

Case in point.  I was in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.  I am sure that he cheated on me on more than one occasion.  He finally found a better deal and left.  It was the worst heartbreak of my life and of course he didn't shed a tear.  I once freaked out at the grocery store because i thought his truck was in the parking lot.  I was consumed with anger over the situation and how he treated me.  I recently facebook stalked him and see that he married this chic.  I asked one of his former friends, why he didn't tell me that she was so homely looking? His reply, would it have made you feel better?  No, no one wants to be cheated on with an ugly chic.....not good for the self esteem. 

The opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference....this is forgiveness. 

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