good luck charm

it is what it is

seems to be the "whatever" for this decade. 

It is amazing how easy it is to get caught up in a fear, a worry, or some other tragedy.  I know that i am suppose to give it to god, for he already has the day planned out.  Where is the line between giving it to god (letting his will be done) and just using that as an excuse.  God gave us minds, bodies, and the ability to think for ourselves so that we could reason some issues, right??  I know that i cannot control the future and every time i have tried, it has been an absolute disaster!!!  I also know that there is a lesson to be learned in every situation.  Really??? I would like a break.  I feel that i have learned enough lessons, i am tired of learning, aren't there other people to teach??? 

I am exhausted and haven't quite worked through all of the lessons that i have already lived through.  Maybe i should just pray for the ability to give it to god, because i am obviously not getting this lesson. 

I didn't like the roller coaster today.  I couldnt find my ability to just sit down, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. I fretted and fought the process. I am so scared that if i don't worry about the worst happening then i wont be prepared (even though i am not sure what being prepared will do for me, other than i wont be caught off guard).

When i was first promoted to store manager, i woke up early one morning on the day of a DM visit and started to panic.  I talked myself out of that panic, because we had all worked so hard, it would be a good visit.  It was one of the worst visits of my career.  My boss sat me down and told me he would fire me within the year (this was after he almost broke his neck trying to walk through my electrical room).  This is when i learned to always panic, it is almost like a good luck charm.