changing the filter

Once upon a time you couldve picked my guys up on the front steps of the courthouse......you probably still could but they would be the guy that is coming to replace the motherboard on the server, not the one hanging out on the front steps waiting for his trial docket.

You know you have finally gotten older and wiser when your guy goes from the bad boy that is more likely to spend friday night getting into fights at a bar to the guy that is more likely to spend a friday night saving the planet from home in front of his computer.

The years that i spent thinking my window of opportunity to find someone had vanished, i wondered about all of the good guys i missed out on while in pursuit of trying to prove how special i was by reforming a bad guy.  The good guys who i was too insecure to be with because i needed someone cooler to validate my self worth. 

I have always been so insecure about everything.  I have never really believed that i was beautiful, even though the man in my life tells me so.  I think that is part of his obligation of picking a mate, no one purposely goes out to find the ugliest woman in the world to be with. 

"Dont ever marry an ugly woman, she will suck the life right out of you."  quote from roadhouse.

All of those taught me that being with the bad guy who i thought was cool, only made me feel worthless.   I was finally able to change my filter.  This is why i chose the nerd.

They may be socially awkward, but as long as you are by their side, then they will feel invincible.  I read in the glamour guy issue that the editors husband always tries to look as though he is her personal bodyguard so that no one questions why she is with him. 

No man should take longer to get ready than you do (psst, dont ever marry a cowboy).  Besides i dont need you hogging my bathroom time.  Your job is to sit in front of the tv and tell me which shoes look better. 

When left alone on a friday night, they will order a pizza, sit in their underwear, save the world, and text you to tell you that they love you and miss you.  If there are strippers involved, they will be some kind of scifi oddity or the princess leah/jaba the hut movie scene. 

The nerd will never look for someone better, because they will be too busy thanking god everyday that you chose them and the thought will never occur to them that there is something better out there....the cool guy will never get tied down because he knows two things,  there is something better out there and you arent it.

The nerd spent too many years in the friend zone, watching the cool guys break our hearts, picking up the pieces and knowing that they will do so much better given the chance. 

The nerd is why we love all of those 80's teen flicks.  We all had a ducky and cried when she left him to climb the social ladder.  We are mature enough now to know how that story ended with a prenup, lawyers, and her living in a shack, when he upgraded from his starter wife. 

The nerd will want nothing more that to spend time with you in your white t shirt, sweats, and freshly scrubbed face snuggled on the couch....telling you how breath taking you are (and you never feeling more beautiful).  The cool guy will be more worried about what his friends are doing at the bar and what he is missing out on (making you miserable in the process).

The nerd will challenge you mentally, pshyically, and be your emotional safe place and will always be more concerned about you than he will be about what his friends think...why, because his friends will still be sitting around taking notes and hoping you have friends.