my adrenaline high

today is my Friday and I am very thankful.

I have a paper to write, a virtual interview to do, a seven to ten minute video to do, and finish up three tests in intro to marketing. 

I resigned my position as treasurer today in my community group.  One of the members called me at work, at my store, to tell me that I needed to make an effort to come to the meetings.  It just hit me the wrong way, and this was my reply "what you need to understand is that I run this store working 40 plus hours a week, I go to school for six hours, I had inventory on Monday, and I am exhausted.  I think that you should find yourself another treasurer".  I felt empowered after the conversation, allowing myself to say exactly what I had been feeling for a long time, a burden had finally been lifted.  Once the adrenaline left, I felt let down, once again I allowed a position in an organization define my self esteem. 

Ironically, this morning I had been thinking of what had caused the unhappiness of the last year.  I think some of it was I had overextended myself for way too long, running the store, going to school, then running for office.  I was thinking how stupid it was for me to think that I could do all of that and do it well.  I obviously didn't because at one point and time I had to make a decision, the store or the election.  The store was my first commitment and I had to honor it, so I lost the election because I didn't give it what it deserved.  I think that it worked out for the best.  I would not have been happy working in those conditions with a woman who slandered my name every chance she got. 

The point being, I had this thought to remind me that I cant do it all and this group is another thing in my life that I don't have time for and really didn't care to make time for anymore.  Dues are $85 a quarter per person, that is $170 for my husband and I.  I would feel better donating that money to my adoption partner and have a heck of a lot less stress.  It was good to see the president today and not want to strangle him. 

The opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference.