bloodsuckers

I am exhausted after the weekend.  Saturday ended up with a shouting match.  HR basically said that if we went to court we would lose.  It is perfectly okay to badmouth your boss on Facebook, which I am fine with.  LP will get involved with the giving away of things.  I ended up the day feeling good about the situation but was frustrated by her inability to take responsibility for any of the reasons with why I was not going to promote her.  My other manager said that was just how people were these days, unable to take responsibility for their own actions.  Oh well.  I told her that I would do whatever I could to help her find another job. 

So far I have been proud of myself for not internalizing the remarks from all of the former employees who think that I do nothing and that I am a bad manager.  I was upset about this on Saturday, but then I thought of the character of the people who were bad mouthing me and realized that they were not people of character and their opinion meant nothing to me.  Really, I am suppose to sit around and think of all of the people who don't like me????  I am not paying you to be my friend.  I am paying you to do a job. 

My therapist says I need to get out and get more something other than work going for me. The issue is that after I spend all day with people, I don't want to have to go out and spend more time with people who I may or may not like.  I am sick of wearing the mask.  I tried to find an overeaters anon meeting, but the closest one was 45 minutes away.  I thought of getting involved with a group at the church, but I am concerned about my inability to say no.  Everyone my age has kids, I don't have any kids and it is hard to relate to their issues.  Matt and I got in the elevator and I told him that we needed to get friends, he said "I don't want any friends", my reply was I don't either.  I must find something else to focus on besides these bloodsucking employees that I have.  I would ignore them but I am too scared that if left to their own devices I would end up in another depot issue.

I was good, feeling good, feeling relaxed on the way home.  Then my husband brings up work and the issues I have.  I smacked him and told him thank you, now I am stressed.  This is why I don't talk about my work.