Wednesday, June 5, 2013

lessons

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" Genesis

I have had people who meant evil against me.  I have taken too much responsibility for the situation and my part in in it, it becomes difficult to blame people who have already fled the scene of the crime.  Time has passed and focusing on who is responsible for what is counter productive.  I just know that I have all of this pain and anger inside of me and no clue how to release it. 

Marriage therapist was telling a story the other day about a patient that he had while he was an intern.  The man was a smoker and was killing himself every day, our therapist was very upset and angry. His supervisor knew the anger was out of character for this person, so he asked him who the man had reminded him of, and it turned out that it was displaced anger for a family member that had drank himself to death. 

I am a member of a civic organization.  The president doesn't take his role seriously, making excuses about not ever being good at parliamentary procedure and I told him that it was his responsibility to know these procedures and it has been long enough that he shouldn't have to be told.  He is selfish and puts his interest above everyone else's and doesn't care what anyone else in group thinks.  I went to Monday's board meeting and asked if he was aware as to how many people he needed for an event that he wanted to do, he said yes and threw the paper at me. I sat the rest of the time playing on my phone.  I came home and told my husband that I don't think that I will be spending any more time with this civic organization.  I could pay half of my tuition this semester for what we spend on dues.  I am trying to figure out where my severe irritation for this person comes from and trying to decide if I am suppose to face the confrontation or just learn to live with it.  I think I have learned to live with enough in my lifetime. 

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