Tuesday, June 18, 2013

please remain in your seats

I feel like a big, raw bundle of nerves.....

I did not do like my therapist told me to do, which was either yoga, meditate, or swim.  I am still trying to get into the swing of things this semester.  looming deadlines are keeping me at home and making me feel as though I have little time to pamper myself.

my boss is coming tomorrow to do an audit.  I will probably fail and this would have bothered me before.  I am not sure if I realized that something's just going to have to give...like staying at the store until late tonight because I have homework or if just good enough is going to have to work.  I am out of time and out of energy.  I refuse to kill myself for something that in a year wont matter. 

I did get to talk to my bff yesterday which was nice.  we have had quite a year, she finally got sober this year.  unfortunately, still married to a raging alcoholic, but she only has 24 hours left of school and she will be done and will have some options.  it was funny to hear her say that now she is sober, she recognizes that she is smart.  I guess I never looked at her as dumb, but I suppose she did play the party clown card a lot.  I assumed it was just an act, but she obviously believed it. 

I am permanently annoyed at my new hiring system, I think its only job in my life is to make my job tougher.  I have a girl that I cant hire until sunday and a guy that I cant hire until the sunday after that....really, this is not the time for my patience to be tested. 

I have just came to the conclusion that the next year is just going to suck while I am going through therapy and trying to heal my heart and my mind and find some way to act other than dysfunctional.  I feel like I should have a sign around my neck with a warning to all the people who must be in my life.  I am sad and unhappy, I am working on it, but in the meantime expect lots of turbulence. 

No comments:

Post a Comment