doctor wasnt in

took the day off to go see my new shrink, had to get up at 6am and half way to tulsa, the lady called and the doctor called in sick....it is nice to see that someone gets sick days

now, i have an appointment on friday with a different doctor.  i am trusting that everything will work out for the best and this original lady wasn't meant to be my doctor since this is the second time my appointment has been rescheduled.  i was hopeful last night though because they do specialize in bipolar so hopefully these are the right people to diagnose me. 

i am quite happy, i found a pair of capris and some shirts to wear this summer.  i am proud that i haven't been kicking the crap out of myself for my weight gain, i know some is the medication and some has just been my depression.  as much as i hate to admit it, i do need to get my behind out of bed and go for a walk.  i am just learning to deal with my new body and buy new clothes.  i am learning to let go of things that don't work in my life.  i can focus on what was but it wont help me deal with what is and that is the only important thing.

i tried to call my sister today and her phone is still going to voicemail so i am hoping that she is still doing okay, i guess i will try to call butch tonight and find out. 

i have spent the last two days watching home improvement shows and maybe i am just too much of a realist, but i look at some of these items that they put in people's homes and wonder how practical they are.  This lady has a copper sink and looks as though it has been hand beaten so there are indentations in it and all i can think of is that toothpaste is going to get hidden in those indentions.  Then they put some kind of foam wavy paper product stuff on the wall and i am thinking how hard those are going to be to keep clean and an entire wall made me want to ask where the straight jacket was.  They actually put wind chimes in this one lady's bathroom, they were like 5 foot long and right in front of her bathtub (yeah, those would be the first thing to go when they left).  They made a circular closet in one couples bathroom that had no doors on it.....it was killing my ocd.