jagged rocks

it must be true that time heals all wounds

i was thinking this morning about last nights blog, that my relationships should be measured like dog years.  It really did surprise me when i sat down and was able to accurately calculate the length of time that my relationships had lasted, some seemed so much longer and some seemed too short. 
The anniversary of the narcissist breaking me was burned into my memory, for years it haunted me, but this morning i stumbled at remembering the date.  I never thought that day would elude me, but it has been so long and i finally stopped being jaded and envisioning the karma bus running him down. 

i did internet stalk him once and i found a picture of the one he cheated on me with, they are married now (at least he married someone for pete's sake).  She was plain.  She wasn't the fiery vixen that i pictured being left for.  Maybe he did grow up, maybe she was what he needed to grow up, the good part is that i don't care to spend the energy on it or remember the date. 

sometime i feel as though i replay painful moments in my life to allow the rough edges to be worn off, like a jagged rock.  If you run your fingers over it enough, the edges wont be so sharp after awhile. I also need to remember that i am killing my fingers with that rock and sometimes it just isn't worth it. 

i used to have an intense reason to know why, to have closure, but as i get older i just realize that people do things for no rhyme or reason.