too school for cool

i am watching a TV show about cocaine and this guy is smoking crack, the moment he finishes he says that he starts to feel tense and he suddenly becomes paranoid. 

all i can think is that i feel this way everyday, why would someone intentionally want to feel this way and waste a lot of money at the same time?  Crack is essentially cocaine cut with baking soda and there is a guy in new york city who will deliver it to your house via bicycle.  I cant remember which one my ex husband was on, crack or crank, but according to the bicycle delivery guy crank is so low class, you have to stand on the street corner to acquire crank. 

i am so thankful that i didn't get hooked on drugs, i tried acid once and all it did was make me unable to sleep...i can that do all by myself, thank you very much.  I was very lucky the time, place, and friends that i had in high school all looked down on drugs, cigarettes weren't even cool.  We did drink a lot and at times i wondered if i had issues with alcohol.  Years ago when i was living with the mean drunk, i would drink a twelve pack daily.  I would be having a bad day and think i couldn't wait to get home and have a beer.  Essentially when i quit smoking, i quit drinking.  I wasn't sure what to look forward to for stress relief, which was when i started eating, my sweet tooth going into overdrive. 

a guy i dated in high school just out of the penitentiary for trafficking illegal drugs, he served 4 years.  This is the same guy that robbed a convenience store for beer and cigarettes, stopping to pick out a pair of sunglasses.  He thought the place was empty because it was closed, but the owner was living in the store and he came out with a shotgun, covering the new truck that his aunt had just bought him with bullet holes.  He then deserted the truck on a dirt road and reported it stolen.  When we were in high school, him and his best friend watching jeopardy and were able to answer almost all of the questions correctly, it blew me away.  What really floors me is that he is still playing the same reindeer games that he played in high school.  I just assumed that we had all grown out of that, gotten married, a mortgage, a job, and some of us had children.  I imagine that it wont be long before he is back at it, thinking that he is smarter than the police and he will get caught once again.  Oops, looks like he still has an outstanding warrant in Cherokee county for littering in a scenic stream and no seat belt.  The really sad part of this whole story is that he had a free ride to college, was going to become a radiologist.  I saw him before he went away, he was selling cars, was getting divorced (i found a few restraining orders), and was the same guy i knew from high school.  There is nothing more sad in life than someone who had all of the opportunities in life but chose to piss them away, what a waste of talent.