dog years

my relationships should be measured like dog years

my ex husband, i think that i spent longer trying to get divorced from him than i spent married to him.  We were married in 95 and divorced in 99, for some reason i always thought i was 25 when i was married the first time and was only married for two years.

the narcissist and started dating in april of 99 and he left me in november of 2001, barely two years and i thought we had been together for at least five

the mean drunk and i were together from september of 2002 to september of 2007, dear word, the longest five years of my life

jon, was a few months in the summer that i have tried very hard to remember.  I really do wish that i had been in a better spot for that to work.  He made me laugh, looked at me like i was the most beautiful person in the world, and wasn't trying to change me.  I really do wish that he could have saved me from myself that summer, but i was broken and determined to self implode. 

i remember my hair would fall out in chunks while i showered (needless to say it was quite a bit longer then), i would cry in the shower so that my roommates wouldn't hear me.  I treated him worse than any human being deserved, this is my biggest regret, my second was not moving to alaska