commit or quit

I left Stillwater that night with my cat and left the rest behind. 

One night, my friends and I were hanging out watching movies and we heard a tap at the window.  Dick and I reconciled that night with more empty promises of happier days.  We continued with our weekend marriage until my parents pushed me to commit or quit.  I quit my job and moved.  I was so ready for a fresh start in a new town and make new memories. 

My entire family was or had been in law enforcement.  I thought i was so street smart.  I soon found out i was not only married to an addict, but a drug dealer as well.  I gave my job a weeks notice.  One of the ladies i worked with was married to a sheriffs deputy, i had confided in her what i had been going through and she asked if i was interested in speaking with someone at the police department.  I went to meet the task force at their office, thankfully wasn't at the police department.  When i told them my story, they asked where i lived and when i told them the addition, they all ready knew what street.  Dick had already been under observation.  I was so stressed out i couldn't eat.  Dick was so strung out, that all he did was sit around and eat starlight mints and look at nude magazines.  One night when my mother couldn't reach me on the phone, she called the police.  I could have died when i opened the door to police officers standing on my front porch and Dick was to be home from work any minute. I strained to hear the sound of Dicks motorcycle and be cool enough to get rid of the cops.  Thankfully, he didn't see them and none of our neighbors said a word to him. 

Finally, the day came and my parents, best friend, and one of our friends came to help me move.  This time i took no prisoners.  My mother in law came the night before and gave me the title to his truck and motorcycle.  She told me that i had a dent in my car that Dick had put there and my name was on the title to his truck and motorcycle, i should get my car fixed.  I told her to take whatever was left in the house that she didn't want to be destroyed or sold for drugs.  We packed up the truck and headed home.  I had been so strong for so long, I fell apart on the BA between Sand Springs and Tulsa. 

I wish i could say that this was when i finally learned my lesson, but no Dick and eventually got an apartment together in Tulsa and he raped me one last time.  He moved out.  The cycle of on again, off again continued until one day. 

Dick and I were to go eat with a college couple he knew.  I was too indecisive about what vehicle to take and this lit his fuse.  This was a brutal day, the phone calls would not stop, and he had the most horrible things to say.  I laid in the floor of my apartment and cried.  It was as if i was looking down upon myself.  I asked myself, if today was the day that i finally had enough.  Dick and I saw each other one more time after that, but the spell was gone and i couldn't do the cycle anymore.  I saw how hopeless my life would be with him. 

After we were divorced, he called me before he moved back home.  I finally told him that if he was looking for a reason to not move, i wasn't it.  He soon started seeing someone else and when he told me about her, he said that "she knew when to keep her mouth shut"....i guess she finally found her voice, because she would finally divorce him as well.  Yes, he is my facebook friend....he is fat and bald.....karma.